Saturday Morning Tradition

Charity

Tonight at the RS Broadcast I had a lot of good impressions that I want to make sure I act on. But something that really stuck out to me was Elder Eyring's comments on Charity. As I was listening, I kept thinking how charitable my mom is. How much she really does serve others without complaining. She truly is an example of charity. I know that a lot of my blessings from friends and people in the ward are a direct result of my mom's charitable service. She is such a great example. Sometimes I think people are very guarded with their time and are very charitable to their own family, but my mom is so giving to everyone. Thanks mom for all you do for everyone, especially our family. I have a lot to live up to!

I was also thinking that one of the reasons I think that my ward family is so great is because of the tradition of charity and service. Even all of my mom's friends are so service oriented and truly charitable. I want to be more like those women. I want to serve out of love more instead of duty.

modge podge of feelings

Tonight when I got home from the Relief Society broadcast the girls were in bed, but came running out as soon as I walked in the door. They were so cute. Now that they share a room they always come out together with Brooke having her arm around Livy looking so dang cute that you can't help but just smile inside. My heart melted, and they just wanted to hug me. So we had our hugs (and I was feeling kind of guilty because Ben and I had just had the conversation that morning about being strict when the girls get out of bed. Not mad, and frustrated and angry like we have been, but just plain strict). So we quickly had our hugs and then I said i would come in and sit in the chair while they fell asleep. A routine we are trying to break. As i sat there, I just felt so much love for my girls. Just listening to them talk themselves to sleep. I kept thinking 'why can't I always feel like this at bedtime. why do i always have to get frustrated. I just want to soak up this joy when they are little. i want to record Livy's babbling's in my mind forever. i want to enjoy the night time routine and this time when they are little. I don't want to keep dreading it or feeling short and temperamental with my girls.' I just sat there trying to soak up those feelings and memories.

And then 20 minutes had passed and the girls were trying to get up again and Livy wanted to be rocked (which i absolutely love doing. She cuddles right into my arm and usually falls right to sleep. But I was trying so hard to say no because of the previous conversation today.) Well I finally said okay because I knew she would fall asleep immediately. But she didn't. Instead she kept talking to me, which was very cute. And Brooke kept complaining that she wished I would still rock her even though she was big, etc....But I started to get those restless feelings inside again. That calmness and joy was quickly being overtaken by anxiousness. So i calmly told them to lay down and they had to go to sleep on their own. And I left the room. Not 5 minutes later the pitter-patter came down the hall. I quickly took them back to bed and again sat in the room. They finally fell asleep another 20 minutes later.
And I looked at them sleeping and again that rush of joy and peace came back coupled with the frustration of how hard it is for them to get to sleep.

I want to soak those night times in. I don't want to start really dreading them. So tomorrow is a new day. A new time to get back to the old habits when they were in separate rooms and Brooke fell asleep on her own and Livy stayed in her crib (although now she is not in a crib, so it is a bit of a challenge). But I have some good ideas that I want to implement so I can enjoy my girls at night and remember how fun it is to be a mom of two little girls that are so dang cute and funny!!!

Come on Baby!!!

Well, my contractions kind of went on and off all day yesterday and then completely stopped at about 11pm after I had walked around the block ten times. I have been extremely uncomfortable today, but not as many contractions. It has been kind of fun to compare my pregnancies. I don't know if it is because I feel more comfortable about labor since I know what to expect, or because I feel a little more prepared this time. Anyway, just this beginning part of labor has brought back a flood of memories of my first two. Which I am going to try and write down today, since I have no documentation of them before. My contractions thus far have been different from Brooke's. When I was in labor with Brooke I had so much back labor. I found out later it was because she was face up, which is also why i still have problems with my tailbone. These contractions are all in front.
We walked around Lake Elizabeth this morning to see if I could get things going again. I had a few contractions, but nothing constant. Just still a lot of pain and discomfort and pressure.

It was really fun to be at the park with the girls and Ben. The weather was BEAUTIFUL. Although it got a little hot on our way out. I love California weather. We were all in shorts and short sleeves and it is the end of September!!

3 months officially....

So it has been 3 months officially that I have not blogged. I keep making the excuse that it is because our mac crashed about a day after I posted the last post in June. Then we headed to tenessee for 8 days, then to utah for two weeks, and life just happened after that and since I don't have a computer that I can download my pictures on, I can't blog. The last few weeks I have really been thinking about why I have to blog with pictures, afterall, this is kind of like a journal for me, and my other journals don't have many pictures. So I am going to try to blog and capture the moments better with words! And try to have some sort of documentation of our life for my kids.

And since I was up at 5:30 with Ben getting ready for Seminary and a few big contractions, I thought what better way to start off this baby thing than to make an entry about the labor. Since, by the way, I haven't written one thing down about the pregnancy. Sometimes I think I am weird because I have never kept a pregnancy journal, I have never taken belly shots, and really I hate thinking about the first three months of pregnancy. So I haven't been the best at documenting each experience of my kids life inside the womb.

But for some reason this last month has been different. (not the documentation part, i am still horrible at that), but remembering, feeling, and getting excited about this last phase of pregnancy. I have been a little bit excited about the start of labor, not only because that means that our little boy is almost here to hold and cuddle and just soak in that amazing new born spirit in our home, but I think it is because I know what to expect. I know what is going to happen when labor starts, so I can "enjoy" it a little more (I know that sounds weird). Maybe it is because I feel partially ready for this baby to come. Unlike my last two, I have a crib set up, I have onesies washed, I picked up the girl necessities to have on hand, I actually have a hospital bag packed, no calling my mom to bring a toothbrush and face wash to the hospital. Anyways, I just feel a little excited about this phase. So i hope these contractions continue today and I can have this baby on my own terms and won't have to be induced next week.

I am just so excited to hold this little boy. My memory just keeps being flooded with how special it is to have a newborn in your home. Their spirit is so strong. It is like a tidal wave of memories and peaceful feelings of when we brought Brooke and Livy home. Especially Livy. I think it is because our life was in such disarray with the house remodel and ben changing jobs, me working, etc. but i can still remember so vividly the peace that Livy brought. I would just sit in the glider in the "closet" upstairs nursing and brooke would play at my feet (at least for a little while) and I would just soak in the spirit of that baby. I can't wait for this one to be here. So contractions please don't stop. I really want to meet our little boy soon!