Cool House

Ben's co-worker gave us a window air conditioning unit. It has been on now for about 8 minutes and it is literally changing the atmosphere around here...not just the air. Hallelujah!

Annual Boardwalk Trip

We did our annual summer boardwalk trip with all of our friends two nights before school started. As usual, it was a blast! We walked on every ride-because a lot of the kids had already started school, so it was pretty empty. This year Laurel and I went early and went to the beach before the cheap rides at 5. it was the most beautiful day we have had at the beach in a LONG time. We saw so many dolphins about 20 yard off the shore, thousands of birds, and tons of seals. It was a great day and a very fun evening. Can't wait to go again next summer.

Getting things done...

Last week I just couldn't get out of the funk of feeling depressed about my to do list. I was having a little bit (okay a lot bit) of anxiety about stupid things...like a to do list. Sometimes as a mom you just feel like you are a hamster running on the wheel. Running as fast as you can and getting no where. That is really what i felt like with my list of things i have been wanting to get done on our house. And the more I tried to check things off, like organize the closet, finish the girls room, get carpet, etc., the more things unraveled. The house became a tornado. No matter how many times i told myself that things were going to get messier before they would get truly organized, I just could not keep from getting frustrated. Even though I know that it takes so much more time to get things done with three little kids running around, I kept questioning myself, "Why can't I just finish things on my list?" or "Why does this simple thing have to take so long?"

And then it hit me. After a long week of feeling depressed about running on this wheel. I just laughed. It was when we were trying to get to the park. I dropped Brooke off at school, then came back to try to get the breakfast dished cleaned before we left. While clearing the dishes, Livy tried to get a bowl of cereal and spilled the entire box all over the freshly swept floor. After it was picked up and i talked her out of the cereal and I went back to getting dishes cleared (not even washed) she got the milk out and tried to pour a sippy cup, whtch most of it missed the cup and spilled, so i was cleaning that up. I packed a few snacks got Jackson changed and dressed. I decided I had enough time i was going to try to walk around the lake before the park...when i went to put the stroller in the car, the wheel was flat. Even though i was frustrated, I just shrugged it off and told myself I wouldn't have had time anyway. When I went back inside, Jackson had pooped, so i had to change another diaper. Then I couldn't find my phone. We finally got outside and opened the van doors and realized the car seats were still in the front seat from transporting furniture for the girls room that was still not done (the main thing that was getting me a little depressed about the to do list). I get the car seats in the mazda, since I know we still have to pick up some more furniture and didn't want to have to put the seats back in and then take them out again. I put the kids in the car- forget that i don't have any water. Go get water. Get back to the car and realize Livy doesn't have shoes on. Go find her shoes. Finally get in the car (after throwing in the towel and deciding to leave the dishes, otherwise i would never get out the door) and remember I didn't pack a diaper. Go back in the house and snag a diaper and extra wipes (thankfully, because they came in very handy at the park) and get in the car. Only to find out we are totally out of gas and I need to get gas on the way. At this point I am like 20 minutes late for when I said I was going to be there. Good thing I didn't try to walk around the lake before getting to the park. As I was driving there I started laughing out loud. It was a good wake up call to me of all the little details that happen to get anywhere. It took me 45 minutes to get out the door to go to the park. And i didn't even pack a lunch. Why should I be discouraged about not getting ALL the things on my to-do list done in a week or two, when in reality it takes an hour to get out the door for a small outing.

Sometimes we forget about what it is like to try to do thing with kids around, even when we are in the thick of it. The house finally got cleaned up, the shelves have stayed organized, and even though the girls room still isn't totally finished i am taking my to do list a little lighter and trying not to get frustrated with my family just to get some things checked off a list.

The Entitlement Trap

So I pre-ordered the book "The Entitlement Trap", hoping I would have won one of the prizes for pre-ordering :), but mainly because I had read some of it while we were at Bear Lake and loved it. Sure, i might be a little bit bias, but i really do think Rick and Linda have really great ideas on parenting.
So it came today and I have read throught the first chapter and a half, and it has really got me thinking. Of course it has gotten me thinking a ton about parenting and the little things I am doing with my little kids that is already breeding them for entitlement and how I want to change them and try to do better. Over the past week or two i have been thinking about teaching my kids responsibility. And it has been conflicting in my mind: being really strict about taking care of things vs. not putting too much amphasis on the material things. I have been trying to figure out how i want to handle it. Like the most recent things I have been thinking about is taking care of things in the house, especially furniture. I want my kids to respect things and show that by taking care of them, but I also really like it when they do imaginative play and use the couch pillows for landing pads, and our couches are very well worn, to put it lightly, so i don't want to make a big deal about keeping them pristine. But on the other hand I want my kids to know that furniture is very expensive and needs to be taken care of. That is really simple example of some of the things that have been swimming in my head about teaching respect, but not wanting to put too much of an emphasis on the importants of "things" in general.
But the main thing I have been thinking about while reading just these few pages thus far in the book is the theories of teaching p.e that were so ingrained in my head from my classes when i was getting my master's degree. In a nutshell, it was taught over and over again that it is SO IMPORTANT for kids to have a good experience in physical activity, i.e. P.E classes. So as a teacher you needed to be sure kids liked P.E. Now some professors taught you to praise kids, and really give them positive affirmations. Other professors taught you to make the kids work really hard with fun activities for physical education, but be sure the kids were always moving and working and, hopefully, sweating. And while reading this book, I keep relating the ladder to parenting. Every class i taught, and team I coached, that I made work extremely hard, almost to the point of over-exhaustion, came out on top. The students and the athletes that tried hard and stretched themselves loved it and achieved so much.
I need to remember this in parenting. I wasn't always the nicest teacher, or the most friendly coach, but by golly my kids (volleyball players and students) learned a lot and loved it. (Although, they didn't love it all that much when I made them sweat before they had another class to go to right afterwards, or my teams didn't love it when they were having to fulfill their consequences of a lot of dive lines.) But by the end of the semester, or the end of the season, they loved it. And more importantly they respected me and believed in themselves.

And that is what I want for my own children.

So I may not be the "nicest" mom along the way, or the mom that always gives praises and flowers at any trivial effort. But hopefully through the years, as I implement some of my coaching philosophies into my parenting, my kids will come out on top. Meaning they will believe in themselves, they will know that hard work brings joy and setting goals and accomplishing them, even when they are hard, stretches us and makes us strong.
And they won't feel entitled to every little thing.


Yep, I hope someday I will be as good of a parent, as I was a coach.

Joy School

Today was Livia's first day of Joy School. We did a very low key pre-school last year with Nathan and Lizzy Beck when Melissa still lived here, but this was her official day of Joy School. I wanted to take pictures, she was so excited about it for the past two weeks. And then the true Livy came out. We were getting ready to go, 15 minutes early just to be sure, and her real colors came flying out. She didn't want to go, she was screaming and kicking on the floor. Nothing could console her. I had to get ben to carry her out to the car, and even then she hung on to him wiht a death grip adn wouldn't get in the car seat. Thankfully, Ben talked her into getting in the car. And I go t her there, of course 10 minutes late. She had to sit on my lap for a while, but after about 10 minutes with Jessica's awesome distraction techniques and kindness, she was happy as a clam amidst the kids. As I left i thought how much better I handled this than in the past. I feel like i really know Livy better these days. She acts very fun and outgoing, but deep down she is scared. Its not that she doesn't want to do things, but she is much more nervous. She is also shy in front of people. Unlike Brooke, who likes to put on a "show" that she is shy, Livy really is shy and does not want the attention. As I thought about this coming home (excited to get my house clean with only one child in tow), I want to really remember how important it is to really dig deep into your kids behavior. Finding out who they really are makes it so much easier to process the situation and keep control. Not that it is easy, but today I felt glad inside that I could really understand Livy, instead of getting mad and frustrated with her actions.
I know she will love Joy School, and hopefully i can get a good picture of her on thursday morning and just act like it was her first, and happy, day.