Getting things done...

Last week I just couldn't get out of the funk of feeling depressed about my to do list. I was having a little bit (okay a lot bit) of anxiety about stupid things...like a to do list. Sometimes as a mom you just feel like you are a hamster running on the wheel. Running as fast as you can and getting no where. That is really what i felt like with my list of things i have been wanting to get done on our house. And the more I tried to check things off, like organize the closet, finish the girls room, get carpet, etc., the more things unraveled. The house became a tornado. No matter how many times i told myself that things were going to get messier before they would get truly organized, I just could not keep from getting frustrated. Even though I know that it takes so much more time to get things done with three little kids running around, I kept questioning myself, "Why can't I just finish things on my list?" or "Why does this simple thing have to take so long?"

And then it hit me. After a long week of feeling depressed about running on this wheel. I just laughed. It was when we were trying to get to the park. I dropped Brooke off at school, then came back to try to get the breakfast dished cleaned before we left. While clearing the dishes, Livy tried to get a bowl of cereal and spilled the entire box all over the freshly swept floor. After it was picked up and i talked her out of the cereal and I went back to getting dishes cleared (not even washed) she got the milk out and tried to pour a sippy cup, whtch most of it missed the cup and spilled, so i was cleaning that up. I packed a few snacks got Jackson changed and dressed. I decided I had enough time i was going to try to walk around the lake before the park...when i went to put the stroller in the car, the wheel was flat. Even though i was frustrated, I just shrugged it off and told myself I wouldn't have had time anyway. When I went back inside, Jackson had pooped, so i had to change another diaper. Then I couldn't find my phone. We finally got outside and opened the van doors and realized the car seats were still in the front seat from transporting furniture for the girls room that was still not done (the main thing that was getting me a little depressed about the to do list). I get the car seats in the mazda, since I know we still have to pick up some more furniture and didn't want to have to put the seats back in and then take them out again. I put the kids in the car- forget that i don't have any water. Go get water. Get back to the car and realize Livy doesn't have shoes on. Go find her shoes. Finally get in the car (after throwing in the towel and deciding to leave the dishes, otherwise i would never get out the door) and remember I didn't pack a diaper. Go back in the house and snag a diaper and extra wipes (thankfully, because they came in very handy at the park) and get in the car. Only to find out we are totally out of gas and I need to get gas on the way. At this point I am like 20 minutes late for when I said I was going to be there. Good thing I didn't try to walk around the lake before getting to the park. As I was driving there I started laughing out loud. It was a good wake up call to me of all the little details that happen to get anywhere. It took me 45 minutes to get out the door to go to the park. And i didn't even pack a lunch. Why should I be discouraged about not getting ALL the things on my to-do list done in a week or two, when in reality it takes an hour to get out the door for a small outing.

Sometimes we forget about what it is like to try to do thing with kids around, even when we are in the thick of it. The house finally got cleaned up, the shelves have stayed organized, and even though the girls room still isn't totally finished i am taking my to do list a little lighter and trying not to get frustrated with my family just to get some things checked off a list.

LIttle things...

I just love watching the three kids "run an errand" for me. Like this morning, returning a plate to a neighbor, i just watched from the doorway as Brooke was the little mother hen guiding waddling Jackson to the otherside of the street making sure he was well taken care of. And Livy, and all her spunk, skipping an djumping alongside. For some reason lately, i always watch the kids do things outside trying to soak up all those memories and remember how cute it is when they all play together.

Little Loves

Jackson:
-absolutely loves getting his blanket wrapped around his shoulders and snuggling.
-loves watching Leap Frog letter Factory. Lately when he wakes up he goes immediately to the TV and wants you to turn it on.
-loves drawing chalk.
-loves getting oil rubbed on his feet and put in his ear. (at first i thought maybe he was getting an ear infection because he kept pointing to the eye dropper and then to his ear, then i realized he just liked it)
-loves playing with babies and pushing baby strollers.
-loves his Daddy! Definitely a daddy's boy.

Livia:
-loves, loves, loves riding her two wheeler. (She asks at least 10 times a day, can you play outside with me, which means: can we go ride bikes together in the backyard.)
-loves all bugs. Her and Jackson are always going in the front yard to find rolly-pollies, ants and spiders. She usually names the ants Annie. And, as of yesterday, ants are her favorite bug right now becasue they don't tickle when they crawl all over you.
-loves trying to pick up any kid/baby that is smaller than her.
-loves "writing" letters and coloring, and especially loves it when she can show Brooke that she has done something just like her.
-absolutely loves her gymnastics class.
-loves to be held. A typical conversation is, "Livy, why are you crying." answered, "I dust want someone to hold me!"
-loves to end every sentence with "wight, mom." translated: right, mom.

Brooke:
-loves school.
-loves to read.
-loves holding Jackson, even if Jackson doesn't really want her to hold him.
-loves to wear hats. And she looks absolutely adorable in all of them, too.
-loves to be complimented on how well she is doing things.
-loves to have her back scratched when going to bed. (A definite Eyre trait.)
-loves helping me cut vegetables, even if she doesn't like to eat them yet.

Sledding in Arnold

We love the snow! Grateful it is only 2 hours away, but also grateful we don't actually live in it (although brooke wishes she did). For Presidents Day we headed to Arnold for the day with the Skubals. It was so much fun! The weather was perfect and there was SOOO much snow. We were bummed our usual sledding place-cottage springs- was so abundantly covered in snow that we had to go back down the road a bit to find a sledding place.

This is how Livy looked at least 50% of the time. You never know what you are going to get with her. Pure happiness and cuteness or all out screaming. Keeps us on our toes.

Dan looks like he is closing his eyes.

Can you tell this girl loves it!! She didn't cry once, even when she got snow down her shirt.

Jackson was a tired champ-a champ nonetheless.

There's a smile. Proof that she did have fun, at least for a little bit.

Little Loves

Jackson's Loves:

Getting on the kids table and throwing everything off.

Drawing. (love how he holds the crayons, pen or pencil)

his binky. (Ben has been playing the "trick" of pulling his binky out of his ear. So now when you say, "Jackson, where's your binky?" He points to his ear and smiles. It is SO cute!)

toothbrushes.

pancakes and cereal.

books.

dancing.

wrestling.

little forrest. (at least when he isn't taking his food or hitting him.)

Livy's loves:

laying on the couch and asking to watch a movie and have a sippy cup of milk. (whenever she starts to have a huge melt down, that is what she says through the tears. "Tan I have a dippy dup a meilk and lay on da touch. Please, mom?")

Hide and seek.

roller skates. Pink ones from Donna.

playgrounds.

calvin.

playing with brooke.

helping me in the kitchen (she has to be sitting right on the counter and right next to me.)

carrying jackson to where she wants him or trying to "help" him.

painting and coloring.

boppy and dwamma. (my parent's)

hitting people. (not one of my love's or her siblings)

being first at everything.

singing.

sitting on the corner seat at the counter.

Brooke's loves:

Having a "towel robe" on after her bath. (It is just a regular terry cloth robe, but she loves it.)

READING!

school.

writing notes.

riding her scooter.

hiking.

having daddy talks at night.

trying to have "inside" jokes with the parents about what Livy and Jackson are doing.

being first at everything.

piano lessons.

music.

family hikes.

going to grandma's house.

getting to stay up later than her brother and sister.

noodles.

one-on-one attention.

sitting at the corner seat at the counter.

doing homework.

playing with friends.

It was the worst of times....it was the best of times...

Well it started out as a great Valentine's Day morning. Brooke was a little disappointed on Sunday night that we didn't have more decorations (note to self=that girl likes parties and decorations.) So as soon as I got up on monday morning, Livy and I cut out lots of hearts and wrote notes on them for the family and taped them all over the cabinets. I even found some small gifts from the "present" box in the closet and wrapped them. It was great. I was glad i felt like i did a little something. And we had a great morning, playing games and talking.

Then it was time to get ready and choose a Valentine's outfit. And so it turned out to be yet another fiasco with picking out clothes for Brooke. It is just so hard to handle sometimes. She can't stand ANY seams, nothing fits right. no matter what type of leggings they are, they itch. One time she wears a pair of pants, and then when you suggest them again (because she loved them the last time), she goes into hysterics because they itch her somewhere, or they fit funny here, or it doesn't look right. I got so frustrated yesterday, that I got out the scissors and cut off the ruffles on the bottom of her leggings. That didn't help. Actually that was probably the worst thing i could do. Because, "THAT WAS THE PRETTY PART!!!" Even though that was the part that was bothering her. And since there was NOTHING else she would wear, I just cut them off. Boy, oh boy, that girl gets me worked up. I really need to learn how to deal with this better. AHHH. After I finally threw my hands in the air about it, she went back into her room and found some pink pants to wear under her red polka dot skirt with a pink shirt. It was great for Valentine's day. And i just had to wonder why she couldn't have chosen those from the beginning and been happy with it, or at least for the third outfit...then we wouldn't have had to go through all six outfits and still be upset about it.

Luckily by the time we were finished playing on the playground for 5 minutes before her classroom door opened, we were both happy (actually Brooke was happy before she left for school. I was the one that still needed to let off some steam.). I kissed her goodbye (I am so glad she still likes to be kissed on the lips), and we had a little whisper chat and said tomorrow would be better about clothes.

Livy, Jackson and I then went quickly to the store and then headed home to make muffins. (I decided muffins would be an easier task than cut out cookies for this Valentine's Day). And it was such a great time. Livy helped happily the entire time! And Jackson waddled around the island doing laps and jabbering. I kept thinking about what a stark contrast it was from the morning episode.

And i learned a great lesson, again. No matter how mad you are, take a few minutes and the storm will calm, and life will be great again. And someday, I am going to laugh at myself that I just started cutting off the lace on brooke's pants-but for now, i am still a little bugged at myself for getting that frustrated.

Welcome home...

We got back late last night. Jackson and Livy both ended up in our bed, both kicking and turning the entire night. Jackson was up at 6:30 (thankfully not his usual 5:30) and I was groggy from the time change and the lack of sleep.

Before 8:30 when Ben and Brooke woke up we had made pancakes, played hide and seek, read books and had two tantrums from Livy. Jackson at 4 pancakes and two huge bowls of cereal. And then another pancake with Ben while I was in the shower. Brooke had a meltdown about clothes, again. We scrambled to get a talk ready for primary. And that produced another meltdown because she wanted to draw a thousand pictures to hold up during her talk. I realized she had been wearing her church shoes to school and they were totally destroyed. So i was scrambling to find her old church sandals. Livy cried about her dress after I ironed it, and it was the one she had picked out to wear. Ben was still feeling horrible (he came down with a really bad sore throat the last day in hawaii). Jackson was tired and cranky, it was nap time, but with 11:00 church, naps are just all over the place. Thankfully everyone started to calm down about 10:40 and by 10:45 we were ready to walk out the door. I realized as we were walking to church that I totally forgot to put on ANY make-up and for a moment i thought i didn't have a slip on. When i realized i had a slip on, i decided not to worry about the make-up and just be grateful that we were on time to church and no one was crying at that point.

Welcome home. Its good to be back to real life.

Sayings..

Brooke loves the monkey bars. I mean LOVES them. And that means Livy does, too. Livy is pretty amazing at it. She can go all the way across the little ones by herself. Brooke was showing Ben her blisters one time and Ben said, "Why don't you take a break from the monkey bars for a little bit, Brooke. And then they can heal." Brooke in response, "Dad, when I see the monkey bars, I just can't stop looking at them. It's like I have to go do them!" What a gal!

Livy: "Mom, You're going to Owie!" ....looking a little shocked that it didn't come out right and then said, "Oi." I just smiled and said yes and then started laughing. She was trying to say Hawaii.

When we were having Mommy talk last night, i was talking to Brooke about all her friends at school. I asked her if Aryanna had any brothers and sisters. Her response, "WAY!" and that was it. Ben and I just started laughing. I guess that means yes, a lot....

Jackson loves to act like he is eating his book and then looks at you and smiles. And then does it again and starts laughing.

Brooke and Livy always start running about like crazy right before bed (well, they are either running around like crazies, or crying- really loud- about something). The other night they were running around teasing each other. And they made up a game called the kissing monster. It was so funny to watch them try to kiss each others legs and feet to tag.

Little things...

I have picked up the dish towel off the floor 12 times this morning (and it is only 9am). And I started counting after I had already picked it up probably 10 times before that.

Jackson has snuggled up to me at least 15 times already this morning. I love how his chubby cheeks fit right into my neck.

Brooke has changed outfits four times, declaring every time that nothing fits her right, everything bothers her, and she can't find anything to wear. (can you say- PICKY.) I now have true empathy for how my mom dealt with Krystal and her indecisions and pickyness (don't know if that is a word) with clothes every morning thru elementary school. Wow, it wears on you.

Livy has asked at least ten times for a sippy cup of milk. (We are trying to get rid of the sippy cup...it is way too expensive with rice milk.)

I wish i could really capture Livy's high pitched-cute voice on camera. Because right now, most of teh time I feel like it is ear piercing and makes me go crazy, but lots of time it is cute too.

Brooke takes such good care of her siblings, and it such a good sport to put up with the tormenting from Livy-lou.

I am so glad Brooke has Maddy to play with in the morning....have I mentioned how i totally don't like PM kindergarten......

Motherhood is an adventure.

Pictures

I have been really horrible about getting pictures of Livy and Jackson. But I am determined to be better about it. One night when Ben was gone last week, I was getting into bed and I started looking at all the framed pictures on my dresser. The ones of Livy are when she was 6 or 7 months old. I started really looking at her and trying to remember her at that age. And I felt like I couldn't. Thankfully I have a great friend, Donna. She is so amazing with my kids. (Again, one of the many benefits of coaching. Meeting awesome people.) When Livy was young, she watched Brooke and Livy a lot. Her and her girls watched them for 9 days when we went on a cruise. And she took lots of pictures of them. I am so thankful. Because that night when I felt like I couldn't really remember livy, I went to the family room and I pulled out two small albums that Donna had given me. They were all the pictures she had taken of my girls. I loved it.
But it also made me think about my ability to keep a "journal" or "baby book" of my kids. So I am more determined to get regular pictures-even if they aren't that great and put them in an album. It is not going to be a beautiful scrapbooked album. Just an album that I can slide an 8x10 into and put the date and age of my kids. That is something I can do.
So I started today. I went and got pictures at JCPenney (love the 3.99 coupons and free sitting fee). It was such an enjoyable experience compared to 10 months ago with just livy and jackson. Last time we went Livy cried the whole time and we didn't get one picture. Jackson (he was only 6 weeks old) as always was a champ, not crying, but no smiling either. This time the kids did great, for the first round of all three of them together. But, the photographer didn't get one good picture of all three of them...but I didn't care. At least I have an 8x10 to put in that album. Brooke and Jackson were awesome, but Livy wouldn't do any of her just by herself. But she has some pretty cute "cheesy" smiles when it was all three kids. I'm patting myself on the back for getting them all there. They all looked adorable. And I am not worrying about the fact that there isn't one of them all looking and smiling. (Instead I ordered one small picture of all three of them and I am going to put it together and write...this is real life. We rarely get all of them being good at the same time.)

Memories of Kids

I want to remember the little things and sometimes when I am getting ready for bed or rocking livy to sleep I think about all the little things my kids did that were so cute that I will write in my journal (AKA Blog), and not five minutes later I have forgotten them...so here is a short list of things that will hopefully trigger my memory of the little fun times with such adorable kids:

Livy dancing down the aisles of the grocery store like she is doing the hokey-pokey with her hands going up and down. She does this a lot. But it is especially cute when you see other shoppers stopping to stare and laugh, because she is usually singing a song as she goes. (some of her favorites lately are Taylor Swift, the joy school welcome song, "he has tant ee heyr"- her name for I am a child of God., and twinkle, twinkle little star).

Livy standing out in front of the check out counter while the cashier is ringing up the groceries and stopping her one foot forward and yelling in her deep voice "HI" to everyone that walks by. Or "BOO". It is really cute and kind of embarrassing at the same time. But it is really funny to watch people's reactions. Some step away, others laugh and wave and say hi back, and then there are those that immediately look around for her mother and roll their eye's with that smirk that says-"Are you kidding me."...it really is pretty funny, especially because it is so Livy.

Livy wearing her yellow rain boots to church today. And I didn't fight it today...it was one of those mornings. And again, because of this little girls cute, spit fire, fun personality, it just me laugh. (the old me would have either forced her to wear different shoes and have her kick and scream and yell, or been so embarrassed of what others might be thinking about how I could ever let my child wear yellow rain boots to church. But today I laughed and let it make me smile whenever I looked at her. And Livy, it did rain today on our walk home from church, so good for you for wearing your rain gear.)

I want to remember how eager Brooke has been to do her "secret service". We did an FHE lesson on service and we all picked names out of a hat of who we would serve. And even though it is kind of totally pointless for Jackson and Livy, it has been such an awesome activity for Brooke. And she asks all the time if we did our service or lets us know what service she has done for Jackson.

I want to remember how in love these girls are with their little brother. Brooke will play, hold, "read", set up toys and pillows, kiss, feed and just enjoy this boy. She CANNOT get enough of him. Last night at the table she looks up at me with a huge smile and her eyes of excitement and says, "Mom, isn't that so great that Jackson got a tooth. It is so great! He is so cute!" Livy loves to sit next to him in the high chair (of course this is after a little tantrum becasue she is not in the high chair) and yells "hi" in his face and they both laugh and laugh. Then she has to feed him a few bites of food. Then she goes to find any toy that is near (even if it is not a toy) to give it to jackson and sit next to him and tell him all about the object she just gave him. On friday when i was putting Livy down for a nap, Brooke was in charge of Jackson. She kept calling me to come look. You could hear the excitement in her voice. "Mom, come quick you have to see this. Jackson is SOOOO cute. Mom! Hurry!." When I finally got out to the family room, she had taken jackson's onesie off around his shoulders and belly and was tickling his belly and sides and making him laugh and laugh and laugh. It really was cute. And it was even cuter that she was so excited about it and was enjoying it so much. Every night she still has to give him ten thousand hugs and kisses and loves (as she calls it) before she gets in bed (and after she gets in bed-and after jackson gets in bed...the wanting for more loves to give to Jackson never ends. And I am grateful for it.)

I want to remember how considerate brooke is becoming of others. If I sit in the chair at night for a little bit she always asks if i would like a warm blanket from her closet. Last night it was, "Mom, I can get you a warm blanket from my closet if you want, or there is a blanket on the back of your chair. You can put it over your legs." And today, after putting Livy down for a nap, I came out to the family room and she had put Jackson's blankets on ben's legs and lap because he had fallen asleep. She said, "Mom, look, i tried to make dad comfortable and warm. Isn't that good."

I want to remember how important it is to tell and show Brooke how much I love her. She has asked about five times a day for the last three days that even if I am mad at her do I still love her. Even if she does something wrong, will I still love her? Even if she forgets to do her chore will I still love her? She is going to be a girl that needs and wants a lot of verbal and physical affection, and I need to remember that to be a good mom to her.

I want to remember how smiley Jackson is. I want his belly laugh to be ingrained in my memory forever.

The Kids

Jackson is sitting up for about 10 seconds now. He is a bit top heavy, so he wobbles. (Angie said it reminds her of the little weeble-wobbles they used to have.) He has this little chuckle he does now, where he almost starts to laugh. It is so cute. His skin is so soft. His cheeks are so big and cute. I love how he strokes my hand when he nurses. His hands are so soft and it brings back memories of the girls. Brooke always grabbed my side under my arm when she nursed, and Livy always wrapped her tiny hand around one of my fingers and held tight til she was done eating. I love those precious memories, and I love when they just come flooding back when you feel a similar touch. J is really into grabbing his feet and looking at his feet. About two weeks ago it was all about his hands. He stared at them as if they were magic. And now he grabs his toes and rocks from side to side. He loves to hold things in his hands and chew on things. He continues to be a drooler. His biggest fans are still Brooke and Livy. Brooke asks to hold him every ten minutes or so. And especially loves to hug him and kiss him before bed. Livy is following suit.

Livy is sooo cute. She loves to sing. And picks up full songs just from brooke singing them a few times when she gets home from pre-school. She also asks ten times a day to go on an airplane to see Cami. "Please Mom." is what I hear a lot from her. And the last few days she has added that she wants to go to disneyland with Grandma and Boppy. "Not you, mom." She LOVEs to wear shoes. And they have to be mismatched. One white, one black. And they are both dress shoes. Thankfully for church she would wore both white ones without much of a fight. When I got them out of the box, they looked brand new, as Brooke hadn't worn them out, but they are so worn after only three weeks that I am going to have to buy her different dress shoes. Two weeks ago it was her yellow rain boots. I am sure next week she will find something new. She also loves to wear her monkey shirts that grandma bout her and her doggy shirt. She doesn't go anywhere without her "packpack" stuffed with her baby doll and cell phone and doggy blanket. It is really cute! She is talking so well now. And this past week she started saying Yes very clearly so it makes her sound even more grown up. Before she would say yeoh, and it was kind of hard to differentiate yes and no. She still loves her sippy cup of rice milk, cuddling with mommy at nap time and loves, loves, loves riding her bike with "Boodtie" (Brookie). She still loves to color and is into writing (or thinking she is writing) letters. She copies Brooke and will get out a paper and pen and start saying "ut next, mom" meaning what letter is next mom, because that is what she hears brooke say to me when she is practicing her letters. It is really cute.

Brooke is getting sooo tall! She has found a new love for My littlest Pet shop. It is a great prize for the end of the week chart! It is fun to listen to her and Livy play with them. She loves preschool (except for Bruce who is constantly hitting her). She is trying to learn how to read and is picking up words amazingly well. (I say trying because she tells me she wants to read and then it is like going into battle when I try to teach her). She loves to be read to. She is still a very sensitive and kind little girl. She is starting to be very helpful around the house. I love that she loves to help her dad clean. (sometimes i wish she loved to help me clean, but I will take what I can get.) She is obsessed with riding her bike. Every time we go outside to get in the car, she has to ride her bike up and down the driveway a few times first. I love that she is so confident in it, she is constantly showing me new "tricks". She is a great big sister. She loves to help Livy and Jackson. Livy doesn't like the helping so much, but Jackson just goos and gahs when she is around. She runs into his room to tickle him whenever she hears me changing his diaper. She is really into wearing thick headbands with her hair straight down. And she always wants to be colorful. (Sometimes I will ask her to change her shirt or headband because it doesn't exactly go, and her response to me is, "But Mom, I want to be colorful today.") She still loves to color, draw and write letters.

Funny things out of Brooke's mouth

Its only 1:30 and I keep telling myself I am going to write all of these sayings down tonight. And its only halfway through the day and I can only remember 2. There were about 10.

While she is sitting at the counter eating and I am trying to finish getting the girls food. "Oh yeah, Remember that mom! Remember that MOM!" With this bring grin and these really squinty eyes, "Remember I whispered to you I love you mom and told you, you will remember this for the rest of your life. Don't you remember that."

While building a tower of legos this morning, "THis is so fantastic work!" And it starts to fall while she moves it, "It was such fabulous though. I'm a worker to do better." Everything is so matter of fact.  And she isn't talking to anyone in particular. Its as if she wants to be so mature all the time and show it by how she talks. And most of the time when she is doing this, it isn't too anyone, she is just exercising her vocabulary out loud. I wish I could remember it all the time.