tidbits

It seems lately that we have been up to a lot of things and nothing at the same time. How does that work? Here are few snippets of what we have been doing:

• Ben SURPRISED me and stole me away for dinner and a night in Capitola. It was so great! We caught up on our anniversary binder that we hadn't done in July.


• The weather was unbelievable so I pulled Brooke out of school early and headed to the beach. It was absolutely gorgeous. 78 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze so you weren't too hot. September and October seem to be the best beach days, why can't we start school in November around here...enjoy the sunshine that didn't show up until August it seems.


• I have been watching my sister-in-laws five kids for a few days. Wow, its a lot of kids.


• Ben and I crashed my in-laws ward party and learned a little ballroom dancing. It was so fun. Kind of takes you back to college days.


• I went to Vegas for a foot zoning conference. Always so much information. You feel like your head is exploding.


• We got to hang out with Ryan when he came into town. It was only a few hours, but it is always so good to see old friends.


• We went camping to Henry Cowell Park in Santa Cruz mountains. It was fun to hang out with my volleyball teammates outside of the court.


• The kids and I are taking advantage of early out Wednesdays and trying to go somewhere fun on those days. We have gone to some water parks in pleasanton and dublin. The children's discovery museum. swimming and the beach.


• The girls started gymnastics. They absolutely love it. And I love this gym, much better than the one we went to last year.

It finally feels like we are in a good routine with schedules. Brooke loves her teacher and Livy is in heaven in Joy School. And Jackson, well he is another story. Absolutely perfect angel baby turned terrible toddler. I guess he is making up for lost time.

Getting things done...

Last week I just couldn't get out of the funk of feeling depressed about my to do list. I was having a little bit (okay a lot bit) of anxiety about stupid things...like a to do list. Sometimes as a mom you just feel like you are a hamster running on the wheel. Running as fast as you can and getting no where. That is really what i felt like with my list of things i have been wanting to get done on our house. And the more I tried to check things off, like organize the closet, finish the girls room, get carpet, etc., the more things unraveled. The house became a tornado. No matter how many times i told myself that things were going to get messier before they would get truly organized, I just could not keep from getting frustrated. Even though I know that it takes so much more time to get things done with three little kids running around, I kept questioning myself, "Why can't I just finish things on my list?" or "Why does this simple thing have to take so long?"

And then it hit me. After a long week of feeling depressed about running on this wheel. I just laughed. It was when we were trying to get to the park. I dropped Brooke off at school, then came back to try to get the breakfast dished cleaned before we left. While clearing the dishes, Livy tried to get a bowl of cereal and spilled the entire box all over the freshly swept floor. After it was picked up and i talked her out of the cereal and I went back to getting dishes cleared (not even washed) she got the milk out and tried to pour a sippy cup, whtch most of it missed the cup and spilled, so i was cleaning that up. I packed a few snacks got Jackson changed and dressed. I decided I had enough time i was going to try to walk around the lake before the park...when i went to put the stroller in the car, the wheel was flat. Even though i was frustrated, I just shrugged it off and told myself I wouldn't have had time anyway. When I went back inside, Jackson had pooped, so i had to change another diaper. Then I couldn't find my phone. We finally got outside and opened the van doors and realized the car seats were still in the front seat from transporting furniture for the girls room that was still not done (the main thing that was getting me a little depressed about the to do list). I get the car seats in the mazda, since I know we still have to pick up some more furniture and didn't want to have to put the seats back in and then take them out again. I put the kids in the car- forget that i don't have any water. Go get water. Get back to the car and realize Livy doesn't have shoes on. Go find her shoes. Finally get in the car (after throwing in the towel and deciding to leave the dishes, otherwise i would never get out the door) and remember I didn't pack a diaper. Go back in the house and snag a diaper and extra wipes (thankfully, because they came in very handy at the park) and get in the car. Only to find out we are totally out of gas and I need to get gas on the way. At this point I am like 20 minutes late for when I said I was going to be there. Good thing I didn't try to walk around the lake before getting to the park. As I was driving there I started laughing out loud. It was a good wake up call to me of all the little details that happen to get anywhere. It took me 45 minutes to get out the door to go to the park. And i didn't even pack a lunch. Why should I be discouraged about not getting ALL the things on my to-do list done in a week or two, when in reality it takes an hour to get out the door for a small outing.

Sometimes we forget about what it is like to try to do thing with kids around, even when we are in the thick of it. The house finally got cleaned up, the shelves have stayed organized, and even though the girls room still isn't totally finished i am taking my to do list a little lighter and trying not to get frustrated with my family just to get some things checked off a list.

Being a kid

Last night when I was putting the girls to sleep, i was sitting in the chair in their room and Brooke asked, "Mom, will i ever be a child again?" A little puzzled at what she was asking, I responded, "No, you will never be a kid again once you grow up."
Brooke, "I am glad it is going slow then. I really like being a kid."
Me, "I really like you being a kid too, Brooke."

It made me ponder again how fast the time goes and how much i am enjoying (but want to enjoy even more) these young ages. It also made me smile so big thinking about how much this girl loves life. She has always had such a joy and passion for everything in life. Man, I love this girl!

Learning

There are a few very poignant lessons i feel like i have learned the last few years and i don't want to forget them:

• Love more, criticize and judge less. (even the smallest points of criticism vocalized breeds ill feeling and frustration)
• There are "incurable" people. And I don't want to be one of those. (that was coined in a book I read a little while ago. And since then i have realized over and over again that the author was right, people like to have an excuse for things-and not "curing" themselves emotionally, spiritually and/or physically will always give them an excuse. whether it is for their performance in life, their health, their relationships, their job, or whatever it is-its a crutch to lean on if life is hard. So sometimes it is easier to be "incurable".)
• Give people the benefit of the doubt. (maybe some people are "incurable" and need an excuse, but others really are trying. 9 times out of 10 we don't know the full stories-or the story from two different view points. so give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe their dog really did die, or maybe they are struggling emotionally and you just don't know it.)
• The most important role in life for me is to be a good mother. (i have always known this deep down, but with each year I realize it more and more.)
• Its important to be your own kind of good mother. (everyone mother's differently, and you are you're own kind of good mother. I need to keep my eyes on what is important to me in raising my kids.)
• People that criticize others and how they mother are people you don't want approval of anyway, so brush it off, ignore it, and keep deliberately trying to be the best you can.
• Laugh and have fun. (we all need a little more laughing in our lives.)
• When you've had a bad day, turn on music really loud and dance with your kids. (its hard to cry or be mad or be frustrated when you are dancing with your kids-even if you are a horrible dancer.)
• 'Real Mother's' like to help each other out. (this term was again coined in an article i read a little while ago- mom's really want to help each other out. I really believe that is why i had such a great childhood, because my mom and her friends relied on each other to help each other out and in doing that they developed binding relationships that strengthened all their families.)
• Be happy for others. (i think it is so important to be happy for other's successes, accomplishments, exciting news, etc. when we are genuinely happy and excited for others, we have no room to be jealous or comparative.)
• Embrace all types of people. (my dad used to say, "If we were all the same, it would be a boring world")
• Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be better, not people that bring you (or others) down.
• And while you are surrounding yourself with people that inspire you to be better, don't compare your weaknesses to their strengths. You are your own person. (this is something i have learned over and over the past year, it is so sad when people constantly look at other's strengths and then tell themselves that they aren't as good. )
• Rely on the gift of the Atonement in every aspect of your life!
• Be grateful for every little thing.
• Like the very cliche saying says: Live, Love, Laugh (it might be overused and little bit annoying by now, but it really is true.)
  

It was the worst of times....it was the best of times...

Well it started out as a great Valentine's Day morning. Brooke was a little disappointed on Sunday night that we didn't have more decorations (note to self=that girl likes parties and decorations.) So as soon as I got up on monday morning, Livy and I cut out lots of hearts and wrote notes on them for the family and taped them all over the cabinets. I even found some small gifts from the "present" box in the closet and wrapped them. It was great. I was glad i felt like i did a little something. And we had a great morning, playing games and talking.

Then it was time to get ready and choose a Valentine's outfit. And so it turned out to be yet another fiasco with picking out clothes for Brooke. It is just so hard to handle sometimes. She can't stand ANY seams, nothing fits right. no matter what type of leggings they are, they itch. One time she wears a pair of pants, and then when you suggest them again (because she loved them the last time), she goes into hysterics because they itch her somewhere, or they fit funny here, or it doesn't look right. I got so frustrated yesterday, that I got out the scissors and cut off the ruffles on the bottom of her leggings. That didn't help. Actually that was probably the worst thing i could do. Because, "THAT WAS THE PRETTY PART!!!" Even though that was the part that was bothering her. And since there was NOTHING else she would wear, I just cut them off. Boy, oh boy, that girl gets me worked up. I really need to learn how to deal with this better. AHHH. After I finally threw my hands in the air about it, she went back into her room and found some pink pants to wear under her red polka dot skirt with a pink shirt. It was great for Valentine's day. And i just had to wonder why she couldn't have chosen those from the beginning and been happy with it, or at least for the third outfit...then we wouldn't have had to go through all six outfits and still be upset about it.

Luckily by the time we were finished playing on the playground for 5 minutes before her classroom door opened, we were both happy (actually Brooke was happy before she left for school. I was the one that still needed to let off some steam.). I kissed her goodbye (I am so glad she still likes to be kissed on the lips), and we had a little whisper chat and said tomorrow would be better about clothes.

Livy, Jackson and I then went quickly to the store and then headed home to make muffins. (I decided muffins would be an easier task than cut out cookies for this Valentine's Day). And it was such a great time. Livy helped happily the entire time! And Jackson waddled around the island doing laps and jabbering. I kept thinking about what a stark contrast it was from the morning episode.

And i learned a great lesson, again. No matter how mad you are, take a few minutes and the storm will calm, and life will be great again. And someday, I am going to laugh at myself that I just started cutting off the lace on brooke's pants-but for now, i am still a little bugged at myself for getting that frustrated.

Welcome home...

We got back late last night. Jackson and Livy both ended up in our bed, both kicking and turning the entire night. Jackson was up at 6:30 (thankfully not his usual 5:30) and I was groggy from the time change and the lack of sleep.

Before 8:30 when Ben and Brooke woke up we had made pancakes, played hide and seek, read books and had two tantrums from Livy. Jackson at 4 pancakes and two huge bowls of cereal. And then another pancake with Ben while I was in the shower. Brooke had a meltdown about clothes, again. We scrambled to get a talk ready for primary. And that produced another meltdown because she wanted to draw a thousand pictures to hold up during her talk. I realized she had been wearing her church shoes to school and they were totally destroyed. So i was scrambling to find her old church sandals. Livy cried about her dress after I ironed it, and it was the one she had picked out to wear. Ben was still feeling horrible (he came down with a really bad sore throat the last day in hawaii). Jackson was tired and cranky, it was nap time, but with 11:00 church, naps are just all over the place. Thankfully everyone started to calm down about 10:40 and by 10:45 we were ready to walk out the door. I realized as we were walking to church that I totally forgot to put on ANY make-up and for a moment i thought i didn't have a slip on. When i realized i had a slip on, i decided not to worry about the make-up and just be grateful that we were on time to church and no one was crying at that point.

Welcome home. Its good to be back to real life.

Big Events

The month of May has been highlited with some big events...well, not all of them are necessarily "big", but rather fun!
Ben went to china for the first week: Maybe not classified as "big", but the events that took place while he was gone were big. Brooke got the flu the first night he was gone, thankfully it didn't spread through all of us. We went to the Aquarium-always a very fun event! We participated in Mormon Helping Hands- a statewide day of volunteering in California, and by the way, the parks look awesome, and it was a lot of fun! But the biggest event while he was gone is that I bought a MINIVAN! I would have never imagined in all my life how excited, elated, and giddy I would be to drive a 6 year old used minivan. But man alive, after driving my Mazda with 3 kids for the last 8 months. A minivan is the way to go. And what is even better, is that it was under our budget of what we had set and now we can put in the new cement in our backyard!! Woohoo! Thankfully my dad was around and he helped me check it all out on carfax and he came and talked to the guy with me and test drove it!! I love it. It is an 04 Dodge Grand Caravan! I love the space, love that I can take other kids for people, love that I can have a double stroller in the back and still go grocery shopping or have my bag of volleyballs. Love it! Love it! It was a Big Event!
We went to Disneyland the second week of May. Ben found $9.00 ticket from Oakland to Long Beach! So we flew down early tuesday morning, and came home wednesday evening! We all have season passes and it was so much fun! Brooke is at a perfect age. She is still totally into the magical part of it and loves the characters and the kid rides. And she also LOVES the big rides. Her favorite lately is space mountain, tower of terror and screamin'! Livy is fun too, but for different reasons. She is very apprehensive about the characters, does not like big rides at all, and is scared of any dark ride.(Which is kind of fun if you are holding her, becasue she just snuggles right into your chest and burrys her eyes. But for some reason she still likes to go on those rides.) I think my most fun thing this time was hanging out with Calvin and Livy and Jackson on Winnie the Pooh while everyone went on Splash Mountain. They loved it. We went again, and again and again. And it was just enjoyable to watch them skip together and hold hands running up the line and getting so excited! I really tried to capture some of those little moments this time and take in the joy in the simple! It was a fun trip with lots of fun and lots of fun stories. Krystal and I flew home by ourselves with all the kids, that was an adventure. really funny story, calvin "credit card" a guy with his new sword while waiting in line for Splash mountain. Krystal said- the guy wouldn't even turn his back again after that. He said-kind joking,"Of all the places you could have hit me with that sword. In my leg, in my back, in the arm...but you had to hit me there". On the flight home Livy fell head first over the chair into the aisle on the airplane-luckily krystal caught her by the neck. Oh it was fun!
Another big event is that Jackson's tear duct has cleared up-at least for the last four days!! This is a HUGE event. I am going in next week to get all the information to have a surgery done. It is so clogged. And after many trials of antibiotics, creams, drops, homeopathic things, lavender, constantly rubbing it, etc. it has cleared up for now. The last thing I tried-recommendation from my sister- is cutting onions and having him really close. We'll see if it lasts!
Decorating the kids bedrooms. For those of you that know the true me, this is a big event. I have come to accept the fact that I am not good at decorating. I love to do it, or I should say I love to think about decorating, and what I want or think would look good, and I like looking for decorations- but the acutal part of putting things on the walls, rearranging, etc. I just don't seem to get around to it. And if it weren't for some great friends, Melanie and Brittany, my walls would still be totally bare. So, I have only lived in my house for a year and a half and it is actually starting to come together. And Ben cleaned out and rearranged the laundry room. And that along with the decoration were very big events.
We had two Bridal Showers-Carly's (my soon to be sister-in-law) and my best friend from high school.
Brooke had her first open house-I absolutely love her pre-school. They do some much imagination/creativity projects. Tons of singing and learning through play. Next year academics will be stressed so much (already in kindergarten) that i am really trying to promote and enjoy more creativity and art at home as well.
I resigned as the Head Volleyball Coach at Washington High school. Now that is a huge Event. (It actually happened the end of April, but we will include it in may.) It was a hard, sad and good thing. One i have been contemplating and thinking about for a long time. It was hard becasue I love it, and I really love some of the girls I was coaching, and this next season I had the most potential and natural talent that I had ever had. But it was good becasue it is the right thing for our family. Good because I am not stressing about the season already...it closed a chapter in my life, and that is always a little bit hard, even if it is the right thing.
The Lombards came to dinner. Lori, Jeannine (their two daughters) and I were teammates at FAU and Lori and I lived together for three years. We always had dinner at their house, about 2o minutes away from school. I went there a few times when we were evacuated from our apartments for hurricanes. It was so fun to see them. It mad me miss Lori, stacey and celena even more.
Some big events still to come this month: Gualala!!! And Ben's 30th Birthday!!
It's been a good month-it has just gone by too fast.