Saturday, May 7, 2011

Learning

There are a few very poignant lessons i feel like i have learned the last few years and i don't want to forget them:

  • Love more, criticize and judge less. (even the smallest points of criticism vocalized breeds ill feeling and frustration)
  • There are "incurable" people. And I don't want to be one of those. (that was coined in a book I read a little while ago. And since then i have realized over and over again that the author was right, people like to have an excuse for things-and not "curing" themselves emotionally, spiritually and/or physically will always give them an excuse. whether it is for their performance in life, their health, their relationships, their job, or whatever it is-its a crutch to lean on if life is hard. So sometimes it is easier to be "incurable".)
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt. (maybe some people are "incurable" and need an excuse, but others really are trying. 9 times out of 10 we don't know the full stories-or the story from two different view points. so give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe their dog really did die, or maybe they are struggling emotionally and you just don't know it.)
  • The most important role in life for me is to be a good mother. (i have always known this deep down, but with each year I realize it more and more.)
  • Its important to be your own kind of good mother. (everyone mother's differently, and you are you're own kind of good mother. I need to keep my eyes on what is important to me in raising my kids.)
  • People that criticize others and how they mother are people you don't want approval of anyway, so brush it off, ignore it, and keep deliberately trying to be the best you can.
  • Laugh and have fun. (we all need a little more laughing in our lives.)
  • When you've had a bad day, turn on music really loud and dance with your kids. (its hard to cry or be mad or be frustrated when you are dancing with your kids-even if you are a horrible dancer.)
  • 'Real Mother's' like to help each other out. (this term was again coined in an article i read a little while ago- mom's really want to help each other out. I really believe that is why i had such a great childhood, because my mom and her friends relied on each other to help each other out and in doing that they developed binding relationships that strengthened all their families.)
  • Be happy for others. (i think it is so important to be happy for other's successes, accomplishments, exciting news, etc. when we are genuinely happy and excited for others, we have no room to be jealous or comparative.)
  • Embrace all types of people. (my dad used to say, "If we were all the same, it would be a boring world")
  • Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be better, not people that bring you (or others) down.
  • And while you are surrounding yourself with people that inspire you to be better, don't compare your weaknesses to their strengths. You are your own person. (this is something i have learned over and over the past year, it is so sad when people constantly look at other's strengths and then tell themselves that they aren't as good. )
  • Rely on the gift of the Atonement in every aspect of your life!
  • Be grateful for every little thing.
  • Like the very cliche saying says: Live, Love, Laugh (it might be overused and little bit annoying by now, but it really is true.)

2 comments:

House of Tong said...

Love this especially the first 3 bullet points. You're a good example to me Ash. <3

katiebeck said...

Ashley, It's nice to get on her every so often & see how the kids are growing & you too I guess. We just grow in different ways, less visibly most of the time. One of your comments reminded me of a great lesson I learned from an inspired seminary student years ago. I've tried to make it a motto for my life. She said if you want to be 10 times happier, then be happy for 10 people! It works. It feels so good to push aside any selfish desires and to just rejoice with someone else in their happiness or success. I'm so glad you put that into my mind today! Warm thoughts and good wishes from us to you and your family. And some hugs too! Katie