One of my most favorite chapters of my life has officially closed, at least for now. And its hard sometimes. Its nice sometimes. But mostly, its a little strange. Yesterday was the start of volleyball tryouts at Washington. It was SUPER nice not being stressed out about planning tryouts, scheduling the gym, finalizing tournament stuff, counting gear, fixing nets, finding babysitters, making sure i don't kill the girls in conditioning because most of them didn't work out very hard over the summer, dealing with parents, answering more questions, explainging rules to parents, trying to find a balance between kids that give excuses and kids that really have a valid excuse, finding more babysitters, kicking other kids out of the gym, locking up, giving punishments so kids will work hard, etc. And although it was a relief not stressing over those things and more, it is really hard to know that I won't be the one to help high school girls gain confidence by accomplishing HARD things (believe me, a lot of my practices are HARD.) It is hard that i won't be getting thank yous from parents telling me I helped change their girls life by showing them attention and kindness. Its hard to not be teaching girls volleyball skills and seeing such a amazing improvement over such a small amount of time.
It makes me sad to think about all the awesome relationships I have built from volleyball and all the great friends and people you interact with on a daily basis and to know that i won't have all those interactions anymore. And it is really hard to not be doing something you know you are really good at. Because, lets just face it, the title of mom doesn't get you a lot of accolades and certificates, or even thank yous most of the time. But, as hard as it is-I know this is the right thing for me. I really don't know how I could've done it. I definitely don't know how I did it last year.
And maybe i'll get to coach my girls or boy later on down the road. For now, I know that my kids and my husband need my time. Even if coaching volleyball is a really hard thing to give up.
No comments:
Post a Comment