Feelings

The last 24 hours I find myself in a dream-like state picturing Rebecca as a little girl. For some reason I picture her with Jackson's coloring. I wonder if she would have Livy's outward stubbornness and spunk with that hidden softness. Or would she be more gentle and incredibly sensitive like Brooke. Would she have been a quiet baby and toddler like Jackson? I am sure she would have been chunky like all my babies.
In all of this experience, I have learned again how much our Heavenly Father and our Savior love us. Contrary to what I would've thought some of my reactions would have been, I have never felt mad or angry. Instead I was constantly filled with peace, even when the fog felt thick and numb. I had a deep seeded peace. Even when i had so many fears and unknowns I had a quiet, but incredibly strong testimony in my whole body that everything would be okay. My testimony of the amazing powers of the Atonement were strengthened even more. Along with the healing powers, came the constant reminder that even if my questions weren't answered here and at this time-everything was taken care of. I still feel the natural feelings of indescribable sadness, but I know it will be okay. I still feel like i walk around not knowing what to do at times, like my mind can't focus. But through it all i feel wrapped in the comfort of the Savior. I have comfort knowing the plan of salvation. Its time like these that the knowledge of eternal families and being sealed in the Temple brings a joy that can never be overshadowed.